Weight Loss Psychology


If you’ve had a hard time staying with it (weight loss) and you struggle with that, then we’re going to talk a little bit about that. So that by the end of this video, you’ll be able to have – not just like a plan like a strategy in place – but psychologically, you’ll be at a point where you can actually just follow through.

And that’s probably the most important aspect to all of these because even though like nutrition, for instance, is like going to be 70% of your results. It’s what you eat, how you eat – stuff like that.

The biggest thing is if you’re not going to stick to that nutrition plan or anything like that or changing a little bit of your eating method, so to speak, then it really doesn’t matter because it’s not what you do every once in a while. It’s what you do consistently that matters, right?

Starting off, first, is a lot of people are wanting to get back into the gym or start to get back in shape. They’ve had some results in the past and maybe they want as fast as they wanted or whatever, but they’ve gone through a really hard time in their life. Personally, I can totally understand that.

In the last 13 months it’s been like the hardest 13 months for me in my entire life. I went through divorce – that was pretty emotionally challenging. And then, I think three weeks after the divorce was finalized, I got into a motorcycle accident – actually shattered this collar bone right here.

It was, really, that was a big challenge for me and I had some brain swelling going on. I couldn’t think straight. That was pretty harsh to go through right after the divorce.

And then just a couple of months after that, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, throat cancer – stage 3 borderline stage 4 throat cancer. And had to go through chemo and radiation and came out in chemo and radiation and then a few months later he died.

This was my year and there’s some other stuff. My grandma was also diagnosed with Alzheimer’s that same span of time so I’m trying to help her through that and trying to help my grandfather through that, along with my dad. Just a really, really challenging time for me.

At times like that, it can be really really challenging to really stick to something like a nutrition plan or a workout plan to get up and even just go on a walk or think straight even – regardless of your physical fitness – I mean, events like that affect your performance at work. They affect your interactions with your family and friends.

What do you really do to kind of get out of that funk or to push yourself to get the results that you really, really want? I can tell you from that personal experience that I’ve had that exercise, specifically, can be taking care of your body itself even though it can be a big challenge, it can be one of the best things that you do for every area of your life.

When I first started to really get fit, I’d noticed that as I got more confident about my physical body, I got more confident in other areas of life. And then I was willing to pursuit things that I wouldn’t had before. And I saw opportunities opened up and all sorts of areas.

I started to have better relationships with my friends and family. I started to make more money, actually, significantly more money afterwards. And while that’s obviously not just fitness, right?

But as you take care of your body and you’re showing that you care about you, it’s an act of self-love and that’s really important. Taking care of your body, even something as simple as brushing your teeth, it’s an act of self-love. You’re taking care of yourself. You’re showing that you actually matter to you.

A lot of times, some people might be like “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” But honestly a lot of times, it’s not that people who don’t take care of others. It’s that a lot of times we’ll take care of others better than we’ll take care of ourself and that’s pretty challenging.

Because if no one’s taking care of us – and especially if we won’t allow others to take care of us – then you’ll get to a point where you’ll be resentful because you’re giving, giving, giving and you’re not taking the time to receive or you’re not taking the time to actually just connect with yourself again to reach hard as the energy that you’re giving away.

I think that it’s great to be giving and loving and give to everyone in your life and be a source of inspiration or just be a source of positivity for your friends and family. But if you’re not taking care of you and you’re not taking care of your mental health and really showing yourself that you love yourself in small ways, then everything else goes downhill.

You start resenting people that don’t deserve it. You start treating people poorly. You start acting out of character. You look back on it and you’re like “Man, that’s not me.” You’re like “I’m just not that person.” The truth is, is that you’re becoming that person.

I believe that fitness is a really awesome way to take control of those areas of your life. The first step I would say to doing that is just take an honest look of where you are, where you are today. Because you might be like “Well, I’m just fat.”

No, screw that. You’re not just fat. That’s not who you are is not fat.

If you identify with being fat like that is who you are, then you can’t actually become thin or it’s going to be a lot more challenging for you. Because you’ve identified that is part of who you are so that would literally mean the death of you. So who you are would have to die in order to be thin or be healthy so you are not fat.

You’ve had situations and you’ve had a consistent eating pattern. You’ve had all these things, the lack of exercise – whatever. They’ve led to the result that you have now.

But take a good solid look at where you are now is step one. So step one, look at where you are now.

But when you do that, don’t make it worse than it is. Don’t be like “Oh my god,” kind of thing. Just be like “Yeah, I’m overweight. I’ve done that.” Like, “I’ve produced this result of being “overweight” by doing X, Y and Z.”

Like you’re going to look back and you know that whatever you’re doing now, produce that result of being overweight. That’s okay. It’s okay.

Just realize that what you did, what your eating patterns were, what your exercise patterns were – that produce this result. And that’s awesome. That’s a great thing, celebrate that.

I know that sounds stupid like “Hey Blake, celebrate being fat. That’s awesome.” Like “This guy, Blake, on the internet told me that “Yeah we’re just going to celebrate being fat.”

It’s like “No, no, no.” I don’t just mean like that but I mean celebrate the fact that you’re realizing that you created the result – you did – taking responsibility for it. But you’re also realizing that it’s just a set of consistent patterns that did that.

All you have to do is just change those sets of consistent patterns. You might be thinking like “Oh that’s so easy for you to say.” But I don’t want you to change everything overnight. I think there are people that can do that and there’s people who have gone through massive life changes.

Quite honestly, any one of the things that I’ve gone through in the past year like a divorce, a motorcycle accident, losing a loved one – whatever that is and any one of those can trigger this massive change in us and we can want to change our whole life on the dime.

But for most people, I don’t recommend changing everything at once. What I recommend is just changing small things.

If you normally eat this crappy food for breakfast, just start off changing your breakfast. I know that you’re not going to get results as fast and I totally get that. You can.

I’m going to give you strategies so that you could, hypothetically, do everything at once and that’s okay. I’m totally cool with you doing that if you want to give that a try. My caution to you is just start changing stuff slowly.

Because when I told you about my ex-wife going from 220 pounds down to 130, the first 50 pounds that she lost, it was all just changing one thing at a time.

She stopped having like Frappuccino’s in Starbucks because they’re filled with coffee – no sugar like they’re filled with coffee. Anyway, they’re filled with coffee – that is true. But they’re also filled with sugar and tons of calories and they’re empty calories. She might just cut that out and replace with just a regular coffee.

The next thing is she realizes other thing that she eat – or a soda. Soda is a huge one, lots of sugar in that. So then she just started cutting back on the amount of soda. She replaced it with tea or whatever.

And doing small changes like that she actually lost 50 pounds and it wasn’t overnight but that was the main thing that she did starting out.

She started walking too for a couple of miles a day but they weren’t super intense walks. They were just normal that mean they were “speed walking” but the rate that they’re going really wasn’t even like the “cardio rate”.

What I’m here to tell you is like the first step is obviously see where you’re at now. But don’t see it as just like “Oh my god,” thing. Just realize you produce certain results by doing certain things consistently.

Not exercising, eating crappy food, having a lot of sugar in your diet – stuff like that – and you can change that by realizing that. By realizing that you did that and taking responsibility for it, that means if you take responsibility for it then you have the power to change it. So change it.

The second step is going to be like “Okay so we’re going to see things better than they are.” In this moment, we’re going to go “Okay so I see that I produce this result. I know that I’m overweight. That’s not the result that I want so I’m going to change it so what do we do?”

The next thing is see where you want to get to but really, really feel it in your body as you’re thinking about it. Think about yourself actually being fit. I don’t want the word “skinny”. I don’t like the word “thin”. Fit, healthy because you can get to an anorexic level and be completely – would be.

How you’d interact with others? What that would do to your confidence? And all sorts of stuff like in every area of your life. Would you engage in different activities? Would you play volleyball with your friends or soccer? Or would you play more with your kids? What kind of activities would you engage in differently?

But I want you to feel it, not just think about it intellectually. Because you could be like “Yeah I’d be able to do this and I’d be able to do that and I’d be healthier and that’s great,” but there’s no emotion there.

I want you to actually associate to the emotion behind those feelings of picturing that and truly envisioning it. And allow yourself to smile, feel your smile. Notice your smile and like “Love it because that’s awesome.”

So then we’re going to make it how you see it. Now, it’s time to take action. You have to decide that you’re ready to actually change that. What does it take to be ready? I mean, honestly.

All it takes is a shift in your thinking and you can do that right now. There’s nothing stopping you from that.

A lot of people go “Oh you know like I did this one thing or I overcame this but it took me years.” No, it didn’t. It took you a minute.

It took you one minute where you just decided that your life wasn’t going to be ex-way anymore, whether that was in your finances, whether that was in a relationship.

Maybe that was that you decided that you’re going to not be scared and actually date this person that you’ve kind of been pushing off and that person became your spouse.

Or maybe it was you’re in horrible relationship and you were scared to leave because of all the uncertainty like you don’t really know what’s going to happen. But, that being said, you walked it out. You actually decided “Okay. I’m not going to be happy in this relationship and it’s worth me moving on even if I was “lonely” I would still be more happy.” But the coolest thing is that you made room for someone who you can be in a healthier relationship with.

All I’m asking you to do – decide. Look at where you are now, what habits – everything, gave you that recipe for being overweight or being unhealthy.

Now, truly envision and really associate to that so feel it in your body. Where it would be like if you were completely fit? What would you do differently?

Feel it. Smile and freaking love it. Laugh out loud (LOL).

But anyway, do that then decide you’re going to do something. I want you to take one action, just one action towards that today. Today, right now – that’s my challenge to you, is I want you to take one single action that will move you towards being healthier.

It doesn’t have to be big. It can be – instead of having a Frappuccino, I’m going to have a regular coffee with maybe sugar-free hazelnut, which is what I do.

Maybe I’m going to cut back on the amount of alcohol that I drink because alcohol is a big challenge. That will really hurt your weight loss goals. There’s a lot of people who have pretty damn good diets, to be honest. But the amount of alcohol that they drink on a very consistent basis keeps them from getting the results that they want.

Maybe it’s going to be – you’re not going to cut it out completely. Maybe you’re going to cut the amount of days that you drink down or that you’re not going to drink as much – whatever that is for you. You can choose whatever you want. But one thing today, that’s my challenge to you.

Nutrition-wise, I will actually give you guys a breakdown in the next video on how to calculate out, how many calories you specifically need. I’ll show you the same formula that I use when I’m consulting with other people.

When someone approaches me and goes “Okay Blake, I need you to help me with my diet. I need you to really dial it in for me so that I can start losing weight and I cannot feel hungry all the time and really just have more energy and want to work out.”

The last thing that I’m going to ask you to do is I want you to start going on a walk every day. It can be 10 minutes. It can be 20 minutes. The reason for this actually isn’t even weight loss.

For me, actually I go on walks every single day. Do I always do it? No. There’s days that I missed and I’m trying to fix that actually. I’m trying to make sure that’s every single day.

Honestly, I don’t even go on a walk for 20 minutes anymore. A lot of times I’ll think like “Oh yeah I’m just going to go for 20 minutes,” but then it feels so good that I just keep going.

But the reason I’m asking you to go on a walk is that allows yourself to just calm down, get away from stuff. I want you to turn off your phone or turn on “Do not disturb” – whatever you want to do.

If you have boyfriend or girlfriend or kids – whatever – tell them ahead of time, be like “Hey I’m going to go on a walk. I just need some alone time and I’m going to just clear my head because it’s good for me.”

Don’t take calls, don’t text people, don’t go on Facebook – nothing.

If you’re going to leave your phone at home, that’s a good thing – depending on the area that I want you to be safe and have the ability to call someone or authorities if you need to but don’t access your phone.

Allow yourself to clear your mind. Just walk. No expectations. Allow whatever thoughts to come up, just to come up, and be okay with them.

This will get you at such a healthier spot, mentally, that I can’t even explain it and it sounds dumb because it’s so simple but it really works.

I hope you guys enjoyed this video. I’m trying to make this one a little bit shorter.

In the comments below, go ahead and post “What is your one decision?” What are you going to do today? As small of a step or as big of a step is as you wanted to be as simple as it is. I want you to just put that step down there.

It can be sign up for a gym membership. It can be that you’re going to start the walking thing every day – whatever it is for you. It can be very, very simple.

I want you guys to do that. Put it down below. Let me know what you guys one step is going to be. I’ll respond to your comments.

Any questions that you guys have or any feedback that you have on the video, please leave that down below as well. Share this with your friends if you found this helpful and you know someone else that might benefit from this video.

I will talk to you guys later and I’ll see you on the next video where we will go over an actual nutrition breakdown, how to calculate out, exactly how many calories you need, what type of calories and where to get those.

I’ll see you guys next time in the next video.

About the Author

After studying human behavior for years to get himself out of some tough spots in his life... everything changed. He went through the most difficult time in his life. In one year he went through divorced, was in a motorcycle accident, Father was diagnosed with cancer, and then his father took his own life after "beating" the cancer. That year made him decide to help as many people as he could to feel alive again. To truly take back their life, and love themselves at a new level. With one of his primary goals to help people find happiness in themselves, and reduce the use of anti-depressants. Fitness and health are also extremely important areas in which he takes part in.